The Coiffe

Only so much fashion can be carried in your clothes. The hot, modern nerd tops a nerderific enseble with the perfect do. In today's hip nerd culture, the perfect do is the "don't", a nonchalant statement that declares, "I simply don't care!", to let the world know you are far too important to trifle with hair.

Women can up their perceivable IQ a good 30 points by pulling unruly locks back from the face. A loose bun, with twigs srpinging out in random directions, is always a good choice. To accent this style, try inserting pencils, pens, or protracters among the strands. This creates an eye-catching look as well as serving a handy function. For shorter hair, try multiple clips, preferably small, colorful ones, to restrain any potential swing or flow of hair. For something with a little less effort, the classic pony-tail is never out of date, especially with a big scrunchy. To mix it up a little, try wearing the ponytail on the side of your head.

Kat Noggin, head editor of NerdCultureHub has been seen (in the rare moments she ventures away from her PC) sporting loose buns secured only with ink-pens skewered through her mud-blonde hair. Penelope, of our own hit column Ask Penelope, hits a high in nerd-style with her pony-bun, twisting her hair in and out of a pony-tail holder until it looks like a segmented bun with stray strands in every direction. Twisted, in accounting, is notorious for using binder-clips to restrain her bangs while working. Experiment and find your own unique method to express your nerdhood.

Men are not excluded from the fashion of the "don't do". There are many options available to the man with a keen sense of nerd-style. The slick-back is probably the epitome of the nerd coiffe. There's also the Tim Burton comb-boycot look, as well as the ever popular hat-hair. For those further along in years, don't forget the extreme comb-over and the birds nest.

Whatever style you go for, keep that geeky glow in your eye and put your best of your left feet forward. The world is watching, and we at NerdCultureHub are watching the world.

Poindexters ∟ ^2 (corner squared)

H! +h3r3 f3||0 g33k511,

er, ok, the 3ditor jst gave m3 teh ultimatum - "3!+H3R either write so ppl cn undrstnd people can understand u you", or s/he won't be picking up the tab for pizza and redbull ne more..and And I have to use a modicum of capitalization, punctuation and grammar befitting someone of my educational achievement. (rolleyes) (L053R) No, I am not sure what gender the editor is, and as a matter of fact, I hadn't considered it until now (in attempting to use an appropriate pronoun): the goal is integrating software across divergent platforms, not evaluating eachothers hardware, and with an irc handle of "boolian_and_or_oid", any presumption would be nearly equally likely wrong.

Ok then, to start over:
Hi there fellow geeks!!
Welcome to my corner of the fringe of teh digital universe, a place where besides doing long string hex pattern analysis in D-flat programing, my job is to keep my ear on the pulse of gestating geekdom and notable nerdness.

Just this evening (morning by most peoples standards) I realized another 24 hour period had ellapsed, because the pizza delivery punk just dropped off another pizza. I kindly informed him as he held out his hand for a tip (I assume it was a him, hard to tell) that as of this box, I had achieved a binary meg of pizza box tops. He gave me the stupidest blank stare. I brought my 1.94132 meter frame down to 'his' eye level, looked over the top of my glasses and said slowly, so as be understood: "That is 1,024. It's for people like you (pause) - ever hear of boxtops for edjukayshun?"
I watched with satisfaction as a smile of what I assume was gratitude crept across the hardware studded face before me. I placed the fifty cent tip in the outstretched hand, and watched as the figure in baggy black headed back to the vehicle with a surprising mirth. For a moment, I almost envied the fact 'he' had a license to drive.
Oh well. There it is, nerds and nerdettes: even sequestered in our ecclectic enclaves, we can make a difference in ordinary lives. Save those box tops!


Now, if I can find the address to redeem the suckers... time to dogpyle the .edu's... and meanwhile, if any of you have creative uses for pizza box tops (just in case the redemption period has expired), leave a comment below.

Digitally yours,
Milton O. Poindexter IV.PhD

Dear Penelope

Dear Penelope,
I like this girl at school, but don't know how to ask her out. Should I fake confidence? Should I bake her a cake? Should I write her a sonnet?
Please help,
Lost in hesitation

Dear Lost,
Confidence is for tacky jocks and mindless hoodlems. A cake might be a good idea, especially if decorated with well-rendered Star Wars scenes. Still, your best bet may be to walk up to her, shuffle your feet, sneeze, and then take off running, careful to first let your pocket protector fall at her feet. She will be impressed with your keen sense of nerdhood and returning your pocket protector will give her the perfect opener to confess her fascination with you.
Good luck, and may the force be with you,
Penny

Dear Penelope,
My mother has had a rough time lately. She's had several heart attacks and can't seem to get healthy. She never gets to leave the house. I want to give her some gift but don't know what to get. Should I buy flowers? Candy? Aromatherapy candles?
Thanks,
devoted son

Dear Devoted,
Don't insult your mother with a generic display of affection. She deserves something truly special. Have you considered making a bug collection with various creatures pinned to a board and labeled, plus some live specimens, like perhaps spiders in a jar? This will help bring a bit of the outdoors to her as well as possibly inspire a new hobby in entomology that could last her a lifetime. Best wishes to you and your mother,
Penny

Do you have questions? Need advice? Ask Penelope. I'm here to help. :)

Redecorate for Spring!

Spring is coming and with a new season, couldn't your home use a new look?

The newest trends are plunging into cave-man style with the basement look! Pick up a faux-finish paint kit at your local hardware store and follow the easy steps in the diagram at left to make even the smoothest walls look like unfinished concrete. Next, remove any paintings and, heaven forbid, any candle sconces, and replace them with anime posters and replica swords. You can really see the feel of the room developing at this stage.

Don't stop now! Don't let the outdoors creep in through your windows! Cover them with blankets. After all, natural sunlight is a no-no near any decent comic-book collection, as it can cause fading. Sunlight has also been known to disrupt the natural palor of human skin, so cover those windows up!

Every stylish room has one main focal-point and, the nerd-trendsetters are all going cyber-clutter! That's right, make sure your computer is clearly visable from all angles of the room. Accent that magical portal with piles of papers, action figures, and empty junk food wrappers. This creates a warm, lived-in look and states that you are a person of culture, a real web-junkie.

Now, to bring a truly renaisance ecclecticism to the room, you need a high-action adventure vibe added to the modern cyber-nest. This can be done with outdated weaponry poular in your favorite fantasy novels, replica armor, or lots of airsoft guns. Don't be fussy or too symetrical about placing them. Obsessive-compulsive tendencies are best displayed with complex CD and DVD organizational systems and archive quality comic book storage techniques. Weaponry should be displayed with a casual air, randomly scattered on floors and beds.

For even more original ideas that reflect your personal style, try IM-ing your favorite blog buddies for ideas of images that really reflect your interests. Hang your favorite mementos from every Ren fair, Star Wars Celebration, and Comic convention your visited. Just dive in and create a Nerd-fashion hub right in your very own home. All the uncool kids are doing it!